Thursday, August 09, 2007
its ndp today..42 years. i think most people are recollecting about the past today and so am i. i just felt like blogging again. just suddenly. i guess i am an illogical person after all. letting my feelings decide for me instead of my head. life's pretty stressful now. prelims are coming but i dun feel like i'm really working hard enough. trying to change things. really trying. my confidence is near rock bottom though. trying to find something to motivate me. why do i always let myself get distracted? all those thoughts. i try to think about why i'm in this state now. i looked back and thought, hey what if i didn't do this or that?. my mind's in a whirl now. i've lost my direction. need to find my philosophy and stick to it. that's probably why my GP is so screwed up too. i keep thinking and asking "what if". could i go mad one day? i don't want to stay in this spiral.. maybe its because i dun have a faith? maybe that's why they're happier. they dun question whereas i, question everything. but when will i find the answer? why aren't i working as hard as before? i've tried being driven by fear and being driven by motivation. no i jus dun feel anything. always hated puzzles. yet now i am one. i dun wan to live like this anymore. why can't i be successful like them? i've really tried not to think so much yet i still always do.. its time i make a stand and decide my path. what i must follow. get out of this spiral. and i'm going to change my life. i dun wan to live in misery and emptiness anymore. without goals. without hope. so much negativity. i must get out of this...
2:17 PM
spongebobbbbbbbbbed
Friday, June 08, 2007
Hahaha..what a week.
Lessons learnt this week:
firstly, never ever study at a house that has entertainment. it'll never work.
secondly, according to ernest, never go for a stranger. yup claudyne is a stranger to me according to the Ernest Theory. I dunno how that ended but oh well. *shrugs shoulders.
thirdly, be true to yourself. Shrek 3 was nice. valuable lessons, good laughs.
fourthly, dun be afraid to make friends. then they won't be strangers. hahaha this contradicts the Ernest Theory again.
Kiran gave a good suggestion during breakfast today, compile the Loser Book
let's try to recap
Loser Lines:
1) Everyday is valentine's day
2) Its ok not to have have a date on valentine's day
3) Study comes first.
4) No money how to have gf?
5) (some help please, jonnie, jeff?)
6) No expectation, no disappointment
7) Its ok to watch movies alone
hahahahaha. sad but true.
ok back to studying for jct. good morning!
1:19 AM
spongebobbbbbbbbbed
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Hahaha. just had bbq yesterday. many lessons learnt.
Lessons learnt:
1) Always get jeff. he can entertain crowds of all ages
2) Never bbq corn the way u bbq potato and leave it on top of the charcoal. ITs just too hot.
3) Must put the chocolate in a tray, then the tray in a aluminium wrapped bowl with water to make fondue. we wasted one bar. LOl
and most valuable lesson is
4) Always ask the pretty girl, even if she's ur dad's fren's daughter, even if she keeps staying close to her mum, to join u and and ur frens and ask for her name! or else u can search friendster for eternity and still not find her. ya i think she dun use friendster. haiz. some help please? PL girls rock. Woohoo!
Been a month plus since i started training and teaching casimir, darren and co. everyone's pretty good now. So much to learn from them. from now on we're gonna train field too. Its much easier to juggle on field but harder to dribble with tricks. oh well. practise.
Still remember the wish i made when i started playing football 1 and a half years ago. to play for singapore. to play in Europe. play in spain or italy. that would be so cool. play for ac milan. or barcelona! I just keep training and learning. hopefully. someday :)
Yes JCT is coming. Am i studying? yes. but the pace? damn slow. nvm, shifting to gear 2 this weekend. Will cut down each day's exercise time to 1 hour except for swimming la. Need to train arms. Arms look ok but no strength. Nafa is coming. Mum's friends say i look thin. Hm.. k lo. eat more and train more then. need more money to eat also.
The PSP is so tempting. nvm 1 more month to go. My white psp plus pouch! total cost about 415. so far got half already. can't wait to turn 18.
Got to know claudyne better. she's nice. The beginning of a friendship. Hahaha
I feel positive and I'm loving it!
10:58 PM
spongebobbbbbbbbbed
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Today's training was great. Felt relaxed today, listening to promiscuous girl on the way to simei. was thinking whether i should ask ben to come next week. he lives pretty far, serangoon. but i live pretty far also what. so yup i'll ask him. We started by playing possesion today. Its a really good warm up. I practised some juggling also. My boots felt tight so i was adjusting it. Then we played possesion again cos now bigger group with alvin, joel they all coming in. Didn't receive much of the ball during this. But ole quite a few people today. hehe. Then came match. Our team was quite attacking so i played right and occassionally left back at first. Passing was so-so, too eager to pass so after i dribbled a bit. haven't really taken a shot yet but ya slowly. made some tackles. JZ likes to dribble, so i snapped at his foot today. It probaby didn't hurt cos he came to boast to me later that he got pass me and that i kicked his foot. yup next week i'll teach him how to use crutches. after the break we played better, i started to dribble more and making more runs. involved in a few counter attacks but still no goals. Then for a period of time i was last man. Felt so bored there. made some clearances. Then some of them decided to rest and i wanted to rest too but samuel they all eventually convinced me to play so i did. now it was 5 on 6. i was on the side of the 5. We played possesion and slow pace so we took turns to sneak up and yikai sent in a nice cross. i tot benji would get it but he didn't so i should have tried to score. so we continued and it was starting to get frustrating cos the weather was getting hotter. So we decided to stop after one more goal. It was our turn to start so i pass to alvin and said" ok let this be the last one". he passed it back to me, i passed to daniel, daniel pass to yikai during which me and samuel made runs, samuel to the centre and me to the empty spot on the left. yikai spotted samuel and he crossed but he used too much strength which made the cross just nice for me. Benji came out but i got to the ball first. I jumped, hanged in the air, the ball came, i saw the space between benji and the post and yup, headed the ball in to the top corner beyond benji's reach. eh the goalpost was like slightly less then michelle's height and 1.5 m wide. and benji's huge. HAha..I screamed GOAL after that. JZ kinda sarcastically congratulated me after that. "wah you score leh today i nv score." well kid, get used to it cos this is going to be regular. and get ur crutches soon. and with that goal the game ended. Fucking Gabriel and Sam kept irritating us the Yakuto and Sakuto alterego's "Shi meh?" I shall bring this to class and start irritating them as well. Hehehe. Looking forward to next week! I want more Goals!
3:55 PM
spongebobbbbbbbbbed
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Yo. Hi frens. Maybe i should call my blog once in a blue moon. duh its because that's how often i update. you get the point.
Ok lets start with the house. Yes my crisis is over. My room is still intact! We got new floors from the hdb. Yeah life's pretty good now.
After the past events, i've learnt a lot. There was this period when i sort of, 'woke up'. Kinda monk like. I discovered what it meant to be calm. It just helped me to think clearly. Especially during tests. I didn't panic at all. No increase in heartbeat. I didn't make jokes or talk much. IT was good. For a while. I almost really turned into a monk. Or should i say, Taoist. Being concerned with Self. How one should keep to one's self. But i tried to share the benefits of all this.Which was really frustrating. I started to feel superior. Didn't understand why they couldn't understand what i was saying. Then i realise well maybe because they haven't gone through similar experiences. And i realised that the key was balance. You can't be a joker or a monk all the time. You'll go crazy. seriously. We all need to know when to stop and when to move. Yeah its really easy to say. I'm trying so hard to do this everyday. But life is still pretty happy.
This has been the most fruitful two months of my footballing life. The moment i learnt how to be calm, i applied it to my street football skills. I learnt the mechanics behind the movement of spheres. Its all the same, be it basketball, hockey, football, pool. I was so excited when i succeeded in such a short time doing all those tricks i saw online .I'm a much better player now.
I still remember i applied the same logics to my hockey. and I dribbled the hockey ball that night in my room much better than i did for the whole of last year. Its really true, once u get the concept, everything is much simpler. But i guess i became too eager to try all this. Which lead to my outburst at not beig given the chance to play for the team. Thankfully they helped me to realise that i was letting my ego take over me. Daniel taught me the basics of field again. I applied the same logic to it and i enjoye playing that saturday. Looking forward to this saturday's training.
Ok time to update on some other stuff. ya i confessed to her that day. Well we settled it maturely as adults. She's got her priorities and we are still friends. Sort of. Not so sure after how i accidentally provoked her by teasing her a little about her little mishap on stage with the announcement. haven't talked to her since. She avoids eye contact with me la. Wat can i do? like that lo.
And then today also. wah la jeffrey. nice one la. lucky. claudyne wrote him a note. I think its very nice of her. You don't see mr ang writing jeffrey a note for helping with the go green day video rite? Ya la i find claudyne attractive la. i tot the whole world know already thanks to ben. but find her attractive only what. Well being Friends would be nice. But i dun think she has a good impression of me. Then again, how many people left in this world has a good impression of me? People only see the noisy, joker, occassionally himbo side of me. Ya, they dunno when to stop. Jeffrey says i should take action. But i dun dare leh. not like she will eat me up la but awkward la. just awkward. Thanks to ben who opens the gates of hell when he plays canon in d. Whole oac know i'm attracted to her. Which pretty much ruins my chances of even being friends i think. And that time when i say i was happy when we exchanged smiles of acknowledgement. or at least i think we did. Haiz. Now i don't think that will ever happen again since its been blown out of proportion by the paparazzi people aka my friends in tj. Ya i guess that's life. Claudyne, if you'e reading this, I'm REALLY SORRY for any disturbance caused. Didn't know that people would even talk about this high up in the mountains in nepal. But i'm used to all this gossip since my secondary school days so i'm still able to take it but i dunno if u're used to it therefore i sincerely apologise once again. Haiz. Till next post Folks!
5:07 PM
spongebobbbbbbbbbed
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
yo ho ho. haven't blogged for a longtime i see. hello readers, real and imaginary. yeah i haven't blogged for a long time. many reasons. mostly is becos nothing really meaningful to blog. and even if its meaningful, i couldn't find time to blog which actually means that i'm too lazy. But there are somethings that you have to do even if you're lazy and tat's reporting for your NS medical checkup. yeah. patriotic huh? my ass. thanks ns.sg. for wasting my time, screwing up my online registration, make me go down to queenstown and missing a day of school. i got the letter asking me to go for a medical checkup so i went today. 1hour+ travelling time. supposed to start checkup at 3 and i was there at 2.40 jus like any good enthu armyboy would be.i got there and nice lady told me to first register myself and apply for deferment. i did that and then lady at counter gave me the killer line: okay you can go now. I was like, what the fuck? go? what about my checkup? don't u guys want to like, check my balls or something? lady explained: Oh u just needed to fix ur registration, ignore that letter we sent u, u will have to come for the medical checkup midyear. we'll inform u again. wow. i got owned by SAF. thanks ns.sg and SAF, wait till the media hears about this. then again what can the media do. we have no right we have no say and we long to be free one day. haha ironically they make us say it every year. well that's not all folks. i went home. and then my parents came home with dinner. and they told me they gonna demolish my room. and i'll be homeless for a week. Wow. you see, it all started when dad said ok our living room the tiles is popping out.honestly i still don't feel the pop or whatever there is. its serious u know. my whole block kenna. cos some asshole use the wrong cement when building our flats. and apparently my house's tiles is in a very serious condition. it doesn't look serious to me. really. so my dad was like: yeah let's just renovate it and ya kang sheng u're gonna be homeless for a week and i dun really care whether u're going to sch or not. <- ok he didn't say that but me,my mum, my bros all know he didn't really think of my and our situation. my second bro feels that we shouldn't do a fuck about it until like someone falls into the flat downstairs when we step on the tile. mum and me both feel that we should jus change the 5 or 6 faulty tiles. dad says we must follow the "standard industrial procedures" and change everything. everything means the living room and my room. my room used to be part of the living room. which is why i'm the only one affected if we renovate the whole damn living room floor. and they gonna remove the nice seashore wif sea shell wall outside my kitchen which mum loves. so mum fought back for me. and dad raised his voice saying we're ignorant and do not know how professionals work. and mum got angry at dad for raising his voice and starts shouting back saying how he's a lazy fucker who doesn't even want to clean his own toilet. <- its true, mum told him to clean and he said he would hire someone to do it. so paris hilton rite? lol. and mum start complaining about how he's never helped to clean anything. and then they had a cold war. and mum gave me a box to put my things and ask me if i want to stay in a hotel during march. wow. hotel like good rite? she said hotel 81 fren. yeah. study wif all the whores. great. its either that or grandma house. i prefer fren house. so i only need to bring clothes. can share notes. but its times like this when u know who ur real frens are. i dunno who i can find to help me now. grandma's also in ill health i dun want to disturb her. uncle's barely able to support his family i also dun wan to trouble him. i sound like i hate my dad rite? i guess i do a little. i used to worship him u know. then i realised he's a chauvinist. ego. he's not a bad father. he brings home the dough but ya. that's about all he does. he doesn't like, play wif u, buy stuff for u. hell i dun even think he knws what subjects i take in sch. which reminds me. he gave me the swiftest reply when i told him i failed promos. he said: Retain lo. wow. thanks dad. my dad is like, he's living in those ancient times. poor pr skills. he's like, the russians. yeah. like the conservatives. he say we do. that's what my mum shouted at him jus now. that he onli knows how to shout at people and expect things to be done. where as my mum is more understanding. more modern. but of course my mum also has her irritating side sometimes. my eldest bro is like, a monk. strict, smart, neat and he expects u to live up to his standards which is kinda unfair. my second bro is like the hulk. when he gets angry he explodes. me? i dunno. a mix of them i guess. looking at my parents, i reaslised what marriage is about. marriage and children are the things that keep 2 people together when they're no longer in love with each other. it keeps them together so that life goes on normally and also in case they fall in love again. u know, i think when the 3 of us are grown up and married, my mum might just divorce him? i dunno. we'll see how things go. i have to worry about where to stay for march. mum just gave me a box. its like in tv shows when u're fired. they pass u a box. till then, dear readers. till then. and happy valentine's day and chinese new year.
8:51 PM
spongebobbbbbbbbbed
Friday, August 25, 2006
爱的潮水已经退,我的真情不再随便给...
Sometimes i really wish i knew what to do. I guess its just too late. Another case of wrong timing...
10:50 PM
spongebobbbbbbbbbed
